OFFSTAGE -- The Actors of Pokémon, Parts 15-18
by Quill Xarxes
Summary: More of the story. What else can I say?


Part 11  
  
Quill: (yawns) Kojiro, what are you doing here?  
  
Kojiro: What the hell, was I sleepwalking?  
  
Quill: Obviously.  
  
Kojiro: Sorry.  
  
Quill: It's OK. What time is it?  
  
Kojiro: (shrugs)  
  
Quill: (Grabs her clock) HOLY SHIT! IGOTTAGOBYE!  
  
Kojiro: Dewa mata.  
  
James: (Is walking around the top of the complex, looking like a retard trying to get rid  
of a box of Meowth kittens) Anyone want one? Free to a good home! Please? GOD I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF THEM!  
  
Quill: (Finally gets to the top of the complex, than starts wheezing)  
  
Weezing: Weezing?  
  
Narrator Parentheses Dude: No, not Weezing, wheezing!  
  
Weezing: Weezing.  
  
Quill: Am I late?  
  
Jessie: What for?  
  
Quill: Work!  
  
Brock: It's Sunday you dork!  
  
Quill: Oh...  
  
James: Would you like a kitten?  
  
Quill: Where did you get them all?  
  
James: On the show Meowth and Meowsy aren't together. Otherwise...  
  
Meowth: And condoms don't work over fur.  
  
Meowsy: Nya nya!  
  
Quill: What great information to know.  
  
Meowsy: Nya.  
  
Quill: OK, I'll take one.  
  
James: You sure you don't want more? Please? PLEASE?  
  
Quill: (sigh) OK, I'll take two of them. But don't you try to raise it to three.  
  
James: Here you go. Where's Kojiro?  
  
Quill: In my apartment.  
  
James: ???  
  
Quill: I dunno either. Don't make it anything or you'll find two meowing monsters back in   
your box.  
  
Quill: Yes ma'am.  
  
Kojiro: Quill, did you know its  
  
Quill: Sunday? Yeah, that's why I raced up here, because I knew I didn't need to work.  
  
Kojiro: Uh, OK.  
  
Quill: Dumbass.  
  
James: You said it.  
  
Quill: HEY! AW! SHI'IN KRU! MI SHI'IN KOJIRO Y MI PUEDU SESHU DONOCHE!  
  
James: Kojiro, could you tell me what the hell she just said?  
  
Kojiro: I, I have no clue what she said, what did you say Quill?  
  
Quill: If I told you, it would drastically change the rating of this story.  
  
James and Kojiro: Oh.  
  
Jessie: I have something to tell you guys.  
  
All: What?  
  
Jessie: I'm moving to California.  
  
James: What? Why?  
  
Jessie: I got a much better job that working on these stupid fics, plus the series is caught up   
for another 15 years, so I really want to get out of this small-town.  
  
James: (Starts to tear up) Will we see you again?  
  
Jessie: I don't know. It's a long drive from Wisconsin to California.  
  
James: (Tears up worse) How about when I go to Vegas again?  
  
Jessie: Maybe. I wouldn't count on it though.   
  
Cassidy: (Rubs her temples)  
  
Butch: Cassidy?  
  
Cassidy: I'm moving too.  
  
All: WHAT?  
  
Cassidy: To Maine.  
  
Quill: What's going on??? We're all breaking up!  
  
Musashi: And we all have to go back to Japan!  
  
Kojiro: No, uh, I'm staying here.  
  
All: What?  
  
Kojiro: What else do I have to do in Japan? My parents are dead and I have no friends there.  
  
Takeshi: No friends? Don't you consider us arr your friends?  
  
Kojiro: Kind of.  
  
Musashi: What about me?  
  
Kojiro: Go away. I don't like you.  
  
Musashi: Whatever.  
  
Quill: THIS SUCKS ASS! NOW WE'RE SHORT FIVE PEOPLE!  
  
Ash: Actually...  
  
Misty: No!  
  
Ash: I'm going to Texas to fullfill my dream of being a Country Singer.  
  
Gary: I'm going to be a Disk Jockey in Connecticut.  
  
Brock: (Looks around, then sighs) Factory worker in Missouri.  
  
All the Joys and Jennys: LAKER GIRLS!  
  
Quill, James, Misty, and Butch: NOOOOO!  
  
Kojiro: I didn't know your stories could be so sad.  
  
Quill: Me neither.  
  
James: JESSIE I'M COMING WITH YOU!  
  
Jessie: Why?  
  
James: I LOVE YOU JESSIE!!!  
  
Jessie: Really?  
  
James: IF IT WASN'T TRUE WOULD I BE STANDING HERE HOLDING A BOX OF KITTENS LIKE A RETARD TELLING YOU I LOVE YOU?  
  
Jessie: Probably not...  
  
James: SEE?!  
  
Butch: In that case I'm coming with you Cassidy!  
  
Cassidy: Oh I love you Butch!  
  
Butch: I love you Cassidy!  
  
Butch and Cassidy: (Kiss)  
  
James: Butch, you ripped my idea off!  
  
Butch: Shut up asshole.  
  
Ash: Misty?  
  
Misty: OK, I've got nothing better to do.  
  
Gary: Cheerleaders?  
  
Cheerleaders: (in unison, along with the Jennys and Joys) WE'RE LAKER GIRLS!  
  
Gary: OOHHHH.  
  
Quill: Bye everyone. See you all someday!  
  
Kojiro: Maybe.  
  
Musashi: See you Koji.  
  
Kojiro: Shut up bitch.  
  
Quill: This could be the last time you see her, don't do that.  
  
Kojiro: OK, you're OK. Don't let this leave the country though, OK?  
  
Musashi: OK. Bye! Sayounara!  
  
Kojiro: Sayounara!  
  
Quill: Ash, I hope you get to be a Country Singer!  
  
Gary: Someday maybe I'll interview you on my radio station!  
  
Ash: That would be correct, y'all! (tips his cowboy hat, with the trademark symbol on it of course!)  
  
Misty: And I get to be a COWGIRL!  
  
Ash: I'll dedicate my first song to you, girly!  
  
Misty: I knew you would sugar!  
  
Brock: That was really disturbing.  
  
Yamato: C'mon Brock! We'll miss the bus!  
  
Brock: Bye!  
  
Quill: Bye!  
  
Kojiro: The best of luck to you, James.  
  
James: (whispers) Watch out for Quill, she scares me.  
  
Quill: I HEARD THAT SHITHEAD!  
  
James: Doh.  
  
Kojiro: Bye.  
  
James: Bye! (Gets in his van with Jessie, then drives away. The only ones left are JC and Kojiro)  
  
Quill: How did I ever get stuck with you?  
  
Kojiro: Just luck I guess.  
  
Quill: LUCK?  
  
Kojiro: Yup! I'm real lucky (rolls eyes)  
  
Quill: We'll see how fricking lucky lucky you are after I pound your brains out, bitch!  
  
Kojiro: Bye. (Runs away)  
  
Part 17 -- A Reunion  
  
  
Kojiro: (On the top of the Complex looking at the sky with Quill) I miss the rest of the group.  
  
Quill: Me too. It's so much cooler when we can see them all.  
  
Kojiro: I'm lonely. I want James. And I want my sister.  
  
Quill: Which one is your sister?  
  
Kojiro: Musashi.  
  
Quill: Then why do you keep insulting her?  
  
Kojiro: Plain old sibling-rivalry. I really do love her, but she doesn't like me, so I back off.  
  
Quill: Actually, she really seems to like you a lot.  
  
Kojiro: (Sighs) I know, but I can't let her know I like her back.  
  
Nyasu: Nya, zat's the story.  
  
Kojiro: Shut up.  
  
Quill: We'll probably see them again someday.  
  
Kojiro: Maybe.  
  
Meanwhile, on the airplane  
  
James: (Is stroking Jessie's hair looking out the window. Jessie is asleep.) I almost wish we hadn't left.  
  
Jessie: Me too.  
  
James: I thought you were asleep.  
  
Jessie: I was.  
  
James: Maybe we should go back.  
  
Jessie: We're up in the sky right now, can't do that.  
  
James: Well... we can consider it a vacation to LA, and we can go back home!  
  
Jessie: YEAH!  
  
Meowth: Dat's right!  
  
All: We're going home!  
  
And in Texas  
  
Ash: (Is getting pelted with rotten fruit)  
  
Misty: HURRY HONEY OUR BUS IS WAITING!  
  
Gary: (Runs with them) You bastard! I got fired from my radio station because of you!  
  
Ash: That's your fault! You knew I suck!  
  
And back at the complex  
  
Kojiro and Quill: (Are making out at the top of the complex)  
  
Brock: (Walks through the door)  
  
Quill: AHHH! What the hell are you doing here?  
  
Brock: I was fired and Yamato left me.  
  
Kojiro: That sucks.  
  
Brock: And I'm still a fraking virgin! You wanna try a threesome?  
  
Kojiro and Quill: NO.  
  
Quill: Why do you care if you're a virgin or not. It doesn't matter.  
  
Brock: I guess not.  
  
Giovanni: (Walks in) Hello you three.  
  
Quill: Wow! Your first appearance! Why are you in a thong?  
  
Giovanni: I heard Brock say the term threesome.  
  
Kojiro: (Latches onto Quill's back) HELP.  
  
Quill: He never said threesome... he said... treesome. The complex is not treesome.  
  
Giovanni: OK. (Leaves)  
  
Kojiro: Quill, he wanted to...  
  
Quill: I know, Jo, I know.  
  
Part 18  
  
Ash: So, in other words, I got booed offstage.  
  
Quill: That's harsh.  
  
Giovanni: I remember when I was a musician.  
  
Quill: What happened?  
  
Giovanni: I'm not at liberty to say.  
  
Kojiro: Oh...  
  
Cassidy: Did you hear?  
  
All: What?  
  
Cassidy: Jessie and James are coming back!  
  
Quill: Cool!  
  
Kojiro: Awesome! I can pick on him again!  
  
Butch: Why would you want to do that?  
  
Kojiro: I found this picture of him when he was in high school! (Shows them a picture. It's obviously James, but with blonde hair and a bowl cut. He has a braid in the back of his head.)  
  
Butch: Ewwwwww...  
  
Quill: He looks a little... gay... doesn't he?  
  
Kojiro: Uhuhuhuhuhuh...  
  
Butch: At least he doesn't look like a girl...  
  
Brock: Yes he does.  
  
Cassidy: Where did you get that?  
  
Kojiro: Giovanni.  
  
Brock: Giovanni, where did you get that?  
  
Giovanni: I'm not at liberty to say. I need to go. I have ballet practice. (walks out. Before he leaves, he pulls a pink tutu out of his bag)  
  
Kojiro: There is something wrong with that man.  
  
Quill: Yeah, yeah, yeah...  
  
Cassidy: Maybe... hit in the head with a mallet when he was little?  
  
Quill: A mallet? He was hit in the head with a tree.  
  
Brock: Enough. Anyway, Quill, I was wondering if later we could  
  
Quill: NO.  
  
Kojiro: I was wondering, Brock, what's your phone number? I want to sell your number to a telemarketer. You don't mind, do you?  
  
Brock: Of course not. I love it when they call me! I love talking to strange people!  
  
Quill: And those Jehovah's Witnesses really keep you company!  
  
Kojiro: I wish some would come over right now!  
  
Brock: My number is 661-9737!  
  
Giovanni: (In a pink tutu) Mine is 1-900-GIODUDE. (walks out)  
  
Quill: Uhhhhhhhhhhh.............................  
  
Kojiro: If he lives here... I think we should lock the door tonight, Quill.  
  
Quill: I think I'm going to move...  
  
James: (Stumbles in) I... just... saw... theworstthingapersoncansee!  
  
Jessie: Gi... Gi... Gi... o... vann.... Gi... (faints)  
  
James: Hey, Koji! I can impress you now!  
  
Kojiro: What the hell are you talking about?  
  
James: (Looking through a Japanese == English translating dictionary.) Kanicha… uh… wekko no (slips) do da-uh… yeah. (Looks at Kojiro)  
  
Kojiro: (Blinks) Are you on dope, James?  
  
James: What makes you say that?  
  
Kojiro: (Looks at the picture again) Hehehe…  
  
James: What are you looking at?  
  
Kojiro: Oh… nothing.  
  
James: LEMME SEE! (Jumps on Kojiro to grab the picture)  
  
Kojiro: GET OFFA ME!  
  
Quill: GET OFFA HIM!  
  
James: Whose side are you on?  
  
Quill: KOJI'S!  
  
James: HOW FAMILIAR IS THAT! GIVE ME THE PICTURE! (Grabs the picture and looks at it) Oh… my… god…  
  
Kojiro: Oooh, you must've been a DEMON, Jim!  
  
James: WHY YOU LITTLE! (Jumps back on Kojiro) WHERE DID YOU GET IT?  
  
Kojiro: GIOVANNI GAVE IT TO ME!  
  
James: That moron yellowjacket! What else did he give you?  
  
Kojiro: The address to your little website.  
  
James: WHICH WEBSITE!!!  
  
Kojiro: The one you don't want your Mom to see. And he also gave me some "other" pictures of Jessie and Cassidy, but that's a different story.  
  
Butch: What?  
  
Cassidy: (Looking at Butch) WE WERE YOUNG!  
  
Jessie: (Looking at James) I WAS LONELY!  
  
James: (Isn't listening, but looking at the picture Kojiro gave him) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh……………  
  
Jessie: (Thwacks James on the head)  
  
Butch: Hey, James, can I see?  
  
James: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh…………..  
  
Quill: I think I just got an unwilling look at what goes on in the male mind 24/7.  
  
Kojiro: It's no secret.  
  
Quill: Then… what is it officially?  
  
Kojiro: Officially? All we ever think about is sex.  
  
Giovanni: Yes. Viagra was a very pleasing invention.  
  
Quill: How did you get here?  
  
Giovanni: Ballet is over.  
  
Kojiro: Seriously, what did you think we think about, gardening?  
  
Giovanni: Are you dissing my garden?  
  
Kojiro: Well, your garden dulls girls senses so they do have sex with you.  
  
Brock: It's… uh it's Acapulco Gold, it's (Falls asleep)  
  
Cassidy: So… anyone here do drugs… besides Gio?  
  
Giovanni: One doesn't use his own merchandise if he expects to make a profit.  
  
Gary: How much?  
  
Giovanni: It's not for you.  
  
James: Do they count alcohol as a drug?  
  
Jessie: Yes.  
  
James: Pf, I'm out.  
  
Quill: I'm completely clean.  
  
Kojiro: Me too… I think… I'm not sure.  
  
All: (Look)  
  
James: What do girls think about?  
  
Jessie: Heh, just stuff.  
  
Kojiro: C'mon! We told you ours!  
  
Butch: Nothing can be worse then thinking about… (Stares at Cassidy)  
  
James: Stop undressing her with your eyes, Butch, you'll ruin the effect.  
  
Butch: Sorry.  
  
Quill: Well… I think about the same thing.  
  
James: NAKED WOMEN? YOU'RE GAY!?!?  
  
Quill: NO!!!  
  
Kojiro: SHE IS NOT GAY!  
  
James: How would you know?  
  
Kojiro: Whoah…  
  
James: What? Stop undressing me with your eyes.  
  
Kojiro: Sorry.  
  
James: I THOUGHT I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!  
  
Kojiro: I wasn't (Looks all coy and adorable)  
  
James: HIDE ME!  
  
Kojiro: (Whispering to Quill) I was being sarcastic.  
  
Quill: (Whispering to Kojiro) I know.  
  



End file.
